Everything you do, you have a moral obligation, a responsibility, the privilege to help the marketplace, the client. (upbeat music) – Hey, welcome to the Tom Ferry Show. Today I am with a living legend.
Someone in the early 90's I met who had a transformational impact on my life as a salesperson, as a marketer, the Strategy of Preeminence, and so much more, the man, the myth, the legend, Jay Abraham.
Jay, thanks for being on the show. – My pleasure, my honor. – So people that maybe have not been exposed to you. If you were to google Jay, first of all, you're gonna find more information than you can possibly imagine.
But you're gonna see things like the only person that's worked in 500 different industries as a marketing and strategist consultant. And has done over 23 billion dollars in sales of products and services from mattresses to alcohol to helping real estate agents, and everything under the sun.
But I think what makes you so special Jay, and why I am so honored to now call you coach and personally working with me on my own strategies is people that I've looked up to for years. People like Tony Robbins say no one can synthesize strategies and patterns of performance of sales, of marketing, of business better than Jay and then articulate it in a way that can impact everybody in business.
So I'm just, I'm thrilled. I'm out of my mind. We just had a 90 minute session and now I'm gonna share with all of you guys a little Jay Abraham. But the thing we wanna cover right, just so you're clear, we wanna talk about Jay, the Strategy of Preeminence, but specifically how does someone watching this create trust, create relevancy, and at the end of the day create a level of respect that makes them the only option for a prospect that gets introduced to them? So that's the starting point.
Great. Well first of all thank you for all the, the awkward laudatory praise. I've been very blessed in my life to be what I call business transient. And I've gotten to travel into all kinds of industries and when you see how many optional ways you can approach an opportunity, a problem, a contribution, value, creation, competitive superiority, you get very frustrated for people that don't have the ability to get better yield out of everything they do for everyone, so that's been my focus on life.
So in response to you, those keys, empower anybody to elevate and accelerate their decisive distinction. In other words, you do it right, you are preemptive. You are seen first and foremost as the only viable choice.
The go-to source for whatever it is you stand for whether it's a generality or a very vertical sort of a product service and it is probably the most liberating and the most, the most I guess, exciting way to live your life and it's just really cool.
So just take me into a into, we're gonna do workshop because– – Yeah, I'm just gonna go at you with a bunch of stuff. – And because I do so many things I need to be a little bit– – Yeah, I wanna give just some context here and I've given you credit for decades.
There are a few people in my space that teach referral strategies. And I remember looking at the 5,000 hour book that you were selling at that time. And one chapter was on how to was on how to work by referral.
And many of my contemporaries took that one chapter, this one little sliver, and it became their entire business. – Yes I know. – And I'm not dogging 'em. I'm showing the people that are listening and paying attention here, the impact of just one chapter of one of many things that you have published, thousands, that basically revolutionized a part of the industry.
So there's no one better to talk to you about referrals and trust and relevancy and authority and respect, than you. So Jay, let's just, we listed out six things. – Yes. – I think we should start high level with the Strategy of Preeminence so they understand that.
Okay. So just give 'em high level and then they can google and they can watch eight million videos that, high level. – And we can give you some material you can put on your website. – Perfect, we'll link it up right here on the show.
And it'd be fine. And we got a lot of cool things that take it from abstract to sublime. So first of all, it is the definitive, philosophical strategy or strategic philosophy that should guide everything you do.
Your mindset, your culture, your message, your marketing, your conduct, and it's, it should do that for two reasons. One, that you're operating at a much more elevated strata, a rarefied place than anybody else.
It causes people to see you in almost a mystical way. And I don't mean that to be metaphysical. Just really that. It gives you enormous power and authority and you're not playing anywhere close to the same game as anyone else.
It's predicated on a couple, it's about 20 key points, but the most important are everything you do, you have a moral obligation or responsibility, the privilege, to help the marketplace, the client, see what they need to be doing, the criteria.
You can't let them make a bad decision. You can't let them buy less than they should. Less quality, quantity, less value, and you gotta take a stand and not be reactive and let them do whatever they wanna do, because you know darn well that long term it's not in their best interest.
And you gotta be willing to be their most trusted advisor and as an advisor, you gotta tell 'em what you believe. And you gotta tell 'em the reasons why. – Okay, hold on, I gotta back up just for a second.
‘Cause you're nailing it, but you're giving them so much to think about right up front. The overarching value of how you operate is the Strategy of Preeminence. – For me, yes. – No, for everyone.
Yeah. – And then I think of people like Michael Ovitz, who started CAA. Michael Ovitz, was in his time, he was the only person you would turn to if you were a writer, producer, director, and you wanted to be a part of something special.
They can get that. Think about the agent in your market place that is the, that is the most dominant. They've elevated their status. – Yep. – So go back into now, I wanted them to get that, in just layman's terms, how do they get to that? – It's really, it's really, you could do it almost instantaneously when you decide not to be mediocre, average, reactive, and I guess the best word is you wanna be a leader.
It's all about leadership in the best interests of the client. And what it entails is this. It entails, and there's a lot of points to it. But it entails first of all, being able to express to a client, what they really want, but they've never heard verbalized from anyone else.
In a way, they go, that's exactly what I want. That's exactly why I want it. It's helping them develop their buying criteria. And I'm not talking about price or loan interest. I'm talking about what their trying to buy and why.
And what they want for the future. It's transcended. It's saying this house, is not just a house. This house is your, your, what could I call it, your mecca for for joy, fulfillment. It's the environment you're children are gonna be in associative with other quality kids.
It's where you and your family are gonna get the greatest joy. It's what's gonna give you the sense of purpose. It's going to be the greatest appreciating asset. It's, I mean, you gotta help them understand what they really want and why and even if they want to buy something that will deserve them in the long run and you allow it without first making sure they understand that they have better options, the consequences, then you're not preeminent.
Yeah. – You're selfish. – So all of that, there's a part– – Does that make sense? – A hundred percent. This exact strategy is what we used to build our business, right? Creating a clear and measurable degree of separation between ourselves and the competition.
Elevating who we are. And when I did it, I was starting brand new as a startup. I just declared this is where I was going to be, and then everything we built was around serving the customer better, faster, more efficiently, differently, but in their model of the world.
So when they google the Strategy of Preeminence, one of the things you're gonna find is there's six questions that you can ask. As the consumer, right, how would I like this done? Like if I'm buying a house, if I'm selling a, how do I want this done? What matters to me most? And so there's all of that.
Which they can, again they can Google. – Yeah, but let me make a point that's really interesting, 'cause it is a part of it. Very few people that I meet in business and in real estate, understand a couple of things.
First of all, how to ask great questions. Second of all, how to listen to the answers. Third of all, that if you want to be interesting, the easiest way to do it is to be interested. Third of all, is to take the time to examine, explore, understand, appreciate, respect, how the other side sees life, because the reality that they have is not necessarily the reality that you have, the values they have, their goals they have, and you have two different objectives.
One is to start with where they're at, because if you start where you're at, you've already disconnected if that makes sense. – [Tom] Of course. – You can't get them to trust you until you show the respect for them.
And that means acknowledging whatever their realities are. And I was thinking that a lot of agents probably let their clients and prospects sort of conduct themselves the way they are. They can be, they can be either too excited, not excited, not– – [Tom] Unresponsive, responsive.
And if you allow that, then you're disserving them. – [Tom] Yes. – Because letting them do what they're doing. Unless they've bought hundreds of houses, and know all the implications, is allowing them to under achieve, under perform the optimal outcome.
If you don't get great feedback. If you don't give them direction. If they over enthuse somewhere in front of another agent, and you're job is to get them the best outcome, they have, so it's gotta be collaborative.
And if you can't be strong enough and committed enough to be the leader, then you've already lost. You can't be the follower in this kind of transaction. – I'm gonna paraphrase– – If that makes sense.
A hundred percent, you said something to me a decade ago. Which was, the problem that a lot of high producing real estate agents get into is they become so transactional. The business is transactional, but the people aren't transactional.
That to go deep with that person and really understand their values, who they are, why they're doing it, why they're really doing, why are you really making this move? Moving is not fun, Everyone that, moving is not a fun experience.
I moved four times in the last five years. There's nothing about it that's fun. So is it aspirational? Is it out of necessity? Is it because something is falling apart? – Life change right? – And digging into that, and being that fiduciary response, responsive, or responsible– – That's fabulous.
– Human being who's really gonna serve them the right way. – Well you hit on it. The next element, which you stole my thunder, is empathy. Not sympathy, but empathy. Appreciating the circumstance.
I mean are they celebrating a raise? Are they reacting to a set back? Is it a crisis? Somebody died? Divorce? Your children left home. I mean there's so many different scenarios and failure to really allow yourself to be part of their process is a, it's a disservice to both sides.
Your gonna get a lesser outcome, they're gonna get a lesser outcome, you're not gonna get any referrals. Because the more connected you are, the more mind share you will retain for years. The less connected you are and the more transactional, the far less number of referrals or repurchases you'll ever get in the cycle of life.
So I mean it's actually the most self-serving thing you can do is practice this because it comes back to you in such a multitude of ways. But a couple of other key points, you have to think about the relationship with them literally as a client.
Which they use in real estate, but I don't think people really understand the true meaning of a client. In all my other dealings with business owners, most of 'em refer as customers. It's tragic 'cause we're in a world where there's three factions wanting to reduce you down to commodity status.
One is the competition. Two is the consumer. And third are the alternative means. And if you allow it, you've already lost. And again, the word customer means somebody who buys a commodity or service.
You're a commodity. If you really understand the meaning of a client, pardon me, and you tie it back to the concept of being the most trusted advisor they have for life. Not for a transaction, because life is an enduring process with changes and circumstances, growing, receding, kids buying houses, investment houses, referrals, but and this is very important.
A client definition is someone who's under the care, the protection, the well-being. That's why you can not, if you wanna be preeminent, you can do anything you want. If you wanna be self serving, average, short sided, tactical, and play a very static game, but if you want a perpetual game of constant compounding growth and prosperity, you have to be willing to tell them what you really believe is in their best interest and why.
And sometimes I wouldn't buy that, even though it's a good value. And if you can't do that and you only want the commission, you're not going to be building a real enduring and sustainable business.
You're gonna be creating a short term job. – And they all know that. They experienced that from the amount of referrals they get or the amount of referrals they don't get. – Total correlation.
– Right, it's always. – If I may say this, it's a sight diversion. But if you look at your professional and your business life, there's about 2% of what happens to us, that are acts of God, we can't control.
– Yeah. – And I won't go through– – Hurricanes, and life. – Or birth defects. Things like that. 98% of what happens to us in our professional or our personal life are the direct results of either actions we take or don't take.
Decisions we make or don't make. Forces, factors, that are immutable that we either don't recognize or recognize and either refuse to harness or harness, because if we don't make them our prisoners and harness them, then they basically, it's like the difference between flying into a headwind or with the jet stream.
– Absolutely. – Does that make sense? – Absolutely. By the way, your overall vocabulary is expanding just hanging out with Jay Abraham. (laughing) – But anyhow, there's a lot more. – [Tom] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– Does that help? – Always. – Thank you. – My friend. So listen, a lot to digest. You'll probably wanna watch this show two, three, four times. You'll probably wanna have a dictionary next to you so you can say what does he mean by that.
But Jay, you've had such an insane impact on my life, my career, both in my former business, in this business, and all the businesses I get to touch, so as always, thank you. Thank you just for being here.
– Well, I have to reciprocate. I'm grateful always for the privilege of contributing even greater contribution to somebody whose doing something preeminent, and I think you are, so hopefully, this helps people realign their thinking.
Not about what's possible, but about the fact that being, I'd like this, preeminent people see the world as a 3D movie and they alone have the only pair of glasses. – Yeah, oh I love that. – It's pretty fun.
– I love it. Alright, guys we're out. Thank you so much for watching. Can't wait to see the comments, and we'll talk to you soon. Hey it's Coach Tom Ferry. Have you been considering hiring a coach? If so, click the link below, and check out what we do.
(upbeat music) everything you do you're on a moral obligation and responsibility to privilege to help the marketplace the client hey welcome to the tom ferry show today I am with a living legend someone in the early 90s I met who had a transformational impact on my life as a salesperson as a marketer the strategy of preeminence and so much more the man the myth the legend jmj thanks for being on the show my pleasure my honor so so people that maybe have not been exposed to you if you were to Google J first of all you're going to find more information that you could possibly imagine but you're gonna see things like the only person that's worked in 500 different industries as a marketing and strategist consultant and it's done over twenty three billion dollars in sales of products and services from mattresses to alcohol to you know helping real estate agents and everything under the Sun but I think what makes what makes you so special Gen Y I am so honored to now call you coach and you know personally you know working with me on my own strategies is people that I've looked up to for years people like Tony Robbins say you know no one can synthesize strategies and patterns and of performance of sales of marketing a business better than J and then articulated in a way that can impact everybody in business so I'm just I'm thrilled I'm out of my mind we just had a 90 minute session and now I'm gonna share with all of you guys a little Jay Abraham but the thing we want to cover right just so you're clear we want to talk about Jay the strategy of preeminence but specifically how do how does someone watching this create trust create relevancy and at the end of the day create a level of respect that makes them the only option for a prospect that gets introduced to them so that's the that's the starting point great well first of all thank you for all the the awkward laudatory appraised I've been very blessed in my life to be what I'll call business transient and I've gotten to travel into all kinds of industries and when you see how many optional ways you can approach an opportunity problem contribution value creation competitive superiority you get very frustrated for people that don't have the ability to get better yield out of everything they do for everyone so that's been my focus on life so in in response to you those keys empower anybody to elevate and accelerate their their decisive distinction in other words you do it right you are pre-emptive you are seen first and foremost as the only viable choice the the go-to source for whatever it is you stand for whether it's a generality or a very vertical sort of a product service and it is probably the most liberating and the most the most I guess exciting way to live your life and it's just really cool so just take me into we're gonna do Rorschach because yeah we're watching the money and because I do so many things I need to be a little bit and I want it I want to give just some context here and I I've given you credit for it for decades there are a few people in my space that teach referral strategies and I remember looking at the $5,000 book that you were sawing at that time in one chapter was on how to work by referral and many of my contemporaries took that one chap this one little sliver and it became their entire business yes and I'm not dogging them I'm showing the the people that are listening and paying attention here the impact of just one chapter of one of many things that you have published thousands yeah that that basically revolutionized part of the industry so there's no one better to talk to you about referrals and trust and relevancy and authority and respect than you so Jay let's just we listed out the six things yes I think we should start high-level with the strategy of preeminence so they understand that ok so just give them high level and then make it Google and they can watch your videos yeah and we will give you some material you can put on your website well link it up right around the time and it's got a lot of cool things that take it from abstract to sublime so first of all it is the definitive philosophical strategy or strategic philosophy that should guide everything you do your mindset your culture your message or marketing your conduct and it's it should do that for two reasons one that you're operating at a much more elevated strata a rarefied place than anybody else it causes people to see you in almost a mystical way and I don't mean that to be metaphysical just really that it gives you enormous power and authority and you're not playing anywhere close to the same game as anyone else it's predicated on a couple it's about twenty key points but the most important are everything you do your Abba moral obligation or responsibility the privilege to help the market place the client see what they need to be doing the criteria you can't let them make a bad decision you can't let them buy less than they should less quality quantity less you know less value and you've got to take a stand and not be reactive and let them do whatever they want to do because you know darn well that long term it's not in their best interest and you've got to be willing to be their most trusted adviser and as an advice you got to tell them what you believe you got to own the reasons why you got I got a backup just for second please because this your your nail it you're giving them so much the thing about right up front the overarching value of how you operate is the strategy of preeminence right for me yeah right no for everyone yeah and then I think of people like Michael Ovitz right who started CAA Yeah right Michael Evans it was in his time he was the only person you would turn to if you're a writer pretty good director and you wanted to be a part of something special like they can get that you think about the agent your marketplace that is the that is the most dominant they've elevated their status yeah so go back into now like I wanted them to get that layman's terms how do they get to that it's really it's really you could do it almost instantaneously when you decide not to be mediocre average reactive and and I guess the best word is you want to be a leader it's all about leadership in the best interests of the client and what it entails is this it entails and there's a lot of points to it but entails first of all being able to express to a client what they really want but they've never heard verbalize from anyone else in a way they go that's exactly what I want that's exactly why I wanted it's helping them develop their buying criteria and I'm not talking about price or loan interest I'm talking about what they're trying to buy and why and what they want for the future its transcended its saying this house is not just a house this house is your your I'm going to call it your your mecca for you know for for joy fulfillment it's the environment your children are gonna be in associative with other quality kids it's where you and your family are gonna get the growth greatest joy it's what's gonna give you the sense of purpose it's going to be the greatest appreciating asset it's I mean you've got a you've got to help them understand what they really want and why and even if they want to buy something that will just serve them in the long run and you allow it without first making sure they understand that they have better options the consequences then you're not preeminent yeah you're selfish so so all of that there's a does that make sense a hundred percent this exact strategy is what we use to build our business right creating a clear and measurable degree of separation between ourselves in the competition and elevating who we are and what I did it I was starting brand new as it started I just declared this is what I was going to be and then everything we built was around serving the customer better faster more efficiently differently but in their model of the world so when they Google the strategy of preeminence one of the things you're gonna find is there's six questions that you can ask as the consumer right how would I like this done like if I'm buying a house if I'm selling a how do I want this done what matters to me most and so there's all of that which they can again they can Google you better let me make a point so it's really interesting it is a part of it very few people that I meet in business and in real estate understand a couple of things first of all how to ask great questions yes second of all how to listen to the answers third of all that if you want to be interesting the easiest way to do it is to be interested third of all is to take the time to examine explore understand appreciate respect how the other side sees life because the reality that they have is not necessarily the reality you have the values they have their goals they have and you have two different objectives one is to start with where they're at because if you start where you're at you've already disconnected if that makes sense of course you can't get them to trust you until you show the respect for them yeah and that means acknowledging whatever their realities are and I was thinking that a lot of agents probably let their their their clients and prospects sort of conduct themselves the way they are you know they can be and they can be either too excited not excited not responsive and if you allow that then you're deserving them yes because letting them do what they're doing unless they've bought hundreds of houses and know all the implications is allowing them to under achieve underperform the optimal outcome if you don't get great feedback if you don't give them direction if they over enthused somewhere in front of another agent and your job is to get them the best outcome they have so it's got to be collaborative and if you can't be strong enough and committed enough to be the leader than you've already lost yeah you can't be the follower in this kind of transaction I'm gonna pay that makes sense 100 percent you said something to be a decade ago which was the problem that a lot of high producing real estate agents get into is they become so transactional like the business is transactional but the people aren't transactional that to go deep with that person and really understand their values who they are why they're doing it why they're really dude why are you really making yeah move moving is not fun everyone is moving is not a fun experience I mean four times the last five years yeah there's nothing about it that's fun so is it aspirational yeah is it out of necessity right is it because something is falling apart life change right and digging into that and being that fiduciary responsibilities of all that's fabulous human being who's really gonna serve them the right way well you hit on it then the next element which you you stole my Thunder is empathy not sympathy but out of the appreciating yep the circumstance I mean are they celebrating a raise are they reacting to a setback then is it a crisis somebody died divorce the children left home I mean there's so many different scenarios and failure to really allow yourself to be part of their process is a it's a disservice to both sides you're gonna get a lesser outcome they're gonna get a lesser outcome you're not gonna get any referrals because the more connected you are the more mindshare you will retain for years the less connected you are and the more transactional the far less number of referrals or are repurchases you'll ever get in the cycle of life so I mean it's actually the most self-serving thing you can do is practice this because it comes back to you in such a multitude ways but a couple of other key points you have to think about the relationship with them surely as a client which they use in real estate but I don't think people really understand the true meaning of a client yeah in in all my other dealings with business owners most of them refer us customers it's tragic because we're in a world where there's three factions wanting to reduce you down to commodity status one is the competition two is the consumer and third are the alternative means down and if you allow it you've already lost and again the word customer means some of you buys a commodity or service your commodity if you really understand the meaning of a client pardon me and you tie back to the concept of being the most trusted advisor they have for life not for a transaction because life is an enduring process with changes in circumstances growing receding kids buying houses investment houses referrals but and this is very important a client definition is someone who is under the care the protection the well-being that's why you cannot if you want to be preeminent you can do anything you want if you want to be self-serving average short-sighted tactical and play a very static game but if you want a perpetual game of constant compounding growth and prosperity you have to be willing to tell them what you really believe is in their best interest and why yes and sometimes it's I wouldn't buy that even though it's a good value absolutely and if you can't do that and you only want the Commission you're not going to be building a real enduring and sustainable business you're going to be creating a short-term job and they all know that they experience that from the amount of referrals they get or the amount of referrals they don't get total correlation it's always if I may say this it's a site diversion but if you look at your professional and your business life there's about two pers of what happens to us that are acts of God yeah we can't control yeah and I will go through Sir Keynes yeah our birth defects things like that 98% of what happens to us in our professional or our personal life are the direct results of either actions we take or don't take decisions we make or don't make forces factors that are immutable that we either don't recognize or recognize and either refuse to harness or harness because if we don't make them our prisoners and harness them then they basically it's like the difference between flying into a headwind or with the jet stream absolutely does that make sense absolutely by the way your your overall vocabulary is expanding just hanging out with you but yeah there's a lot more yeah I know always thank you so listen a lot to digest you'll probably want to watch this show two three four times you'll probably want to have a dictionary next to you so you could say what does he mean by that but Jay you've had such an insane impact on my life my career both of my former business in this business and all the businesses I get a touch so as always thank you well just for fun I have to reciprocate I'm grateful always for the privilege of contributing even greater contribution to somebody who's doing something preeminent and I think you are so hopefully this helps people realign their thinking not about what's possible about the fact that you mean i i'd like to preeminent people see the world it's a 3d movie and they alone have the only pair of glasses yeah it's pretty fun i love it all right guys we're out thank you so much for watching can't wait to see the comments and we'll talk to you soon hey it's coach tom ferry have you been considering hiring a coach if so click the link below and check out what we do